Kyle Jammin in the Attic

Oh no, I'm falling in love.

At least so I thought just then when Kyle plucked deliciously at the dirt covered brassy strings of his battered Mexican made Fender guitar and freshly restored Sidekick Reverb 35 amp.

What I mean to say is, I'm sitting upstairs is in the attic listning to Kyle play his guitar and it sounds boss. The last ham was mostly two different AC/DC songs (played a bit more sensitively.) Briefly the amp stopped working but bro was able to bump the trouble out with his fist which also sounded pretty cool.

Pfft. Pchk. Yeah, no, it was super tight. I was like fuckin' "wuuut? ha!" it was a done deal in the, but yeah. Uhhhm I don't know if this review is any good but I was like "whatever, anywayz." Tote.

Fuck, Kyle is good at just

jammin
it
out.

I'm gonna go to the store and

go out of my mind

The Macarena

Wow.

Just when you have become jaded to the world of pop drudgery and the slowly churning pit of dance digestion, a pop-dance hit ascends from the darkness as if guided by the Lord God Himself and grips the minds and inspires the bits of an entire generation to get up off of their couch and move in a way directed to them by figures on their television.

It is this that is the significance of the Macarena. Before now, taste-makers and music producers of the 21st century have not been able to develop a sound and feel that could represent the anguish in our bellies as well as the UNCONTROLLABLE sense of hope and love hidden in the left part of our ribs. Now the anguish, hope, and love in our entrails have been fucked by the ghost of an old friend we simply call dance. Hither, the Macarena isn't just a dance; nay, it is a movement; a movement not only for pre-teens and Pokèmon enthusiasts such as all of us at Bitchpork.com but also for fully grown adults, babies, and toddlers (and don't be surprised if you see Nana cuttin' a little rug, too ;-) ).

I extend to you, the readers, my fondest feelings of joy and wonderment in this the most of glorious of times. Now there IS a reason to love. Now there IS a reason to say "Hey! Don't just sit there! They're playing the Macarena!" I only wish I could stay around and see the revolution for myself, but by the time you read this I will be dead. I am off to the big roller rink in the sky; I can only hope they are playing the theme from Mortal Kombat, Quad City DJ's, and of course the Macarena for the rest of all eternity.

I'm out of Here.

Religious Music

The Old Rugged Cross:


Did you ever sing a song to yourself when you really had to take a shit? Not a painful, cramping shit, but a comfortable "I've been eating apples and coffee all day" shit. The music feels so deep right then. Then you take a shit.

Huh? Out of Holy Shit.

D4L "Laffy Taffy"

This HOT NEW TRACK has been blowing up my bath time for years now! Isn't it great that Shawty Lo and the rest of the "gang" do their thing so well? It's so great and it makes me happy! My favorite parts is when he talks about his dick and stuff it's like so nice. They really know how to rock the party house down for sure and I think it's just sad that there hasn't been a song like "Laffy Taffy" since. This will have to do I guess because the dancing needs to happen NOW and we're only making it worse trying decide which song to play.

D4 out of L

Friends of the Devil Live at Grateful Dead camp

I like going to shows solo anyway because thats the way they always ended for me anyway. Can't keep track of anyone till the shakedown anyway....Cell phones changed that............ Wasted extra ticket..... too bad .....trust and faith are minimal in this world, as are reliance and dependability.......soooooo.......IF I Had My Way, I Would Tear This Whole Building Down!

Single Solo Satisfied sowhat.......................................WB

NEW WHITE FANG SONG/VIDEO "GRATEFUL TO SHRED" by WHITE FANG

White Fang-Greatfull to shred from TERROREYES.TV on Vimeo.

8/8

RECORD REVIEW: Title CLAMS by Interesting Zone

Interesting Zone is one of my favorite bands from the southeast Brawlister, Oregon hardcore reggae scene. They play slow-fast, witch is a type of genre that is known for sometimes incorporating some whistling through a wammy pedal while all the rest of the band slowly plays their instruments while singing really, REALLY fast.

DUDE it's so sick! You should really check it out sometime. But anyway my mom/dad says I need to finish computer time, but I haven't even really gotten to the part where I break down the songs and explain to you why they're good or good. Or bad, which in this case Interesting Zone rules the hardest.

What do you mean by this you might ask me from your computer desk, but I don't really want to talk about it right now. The pizza track is my favorite. The opening line of the album is prophetic to me "Beware/For there/Is a mon-stare/IN YOUR LINEN CLOSET"

Seriously doing me right right now. Sometimes its OK to feel weird.

<333> ;p ;)